Love Is Magic

I’ve been in love for more than three months. The longer I’m with him, the more I’ve learnt, no matter in relationship, in schoolwork, in family matters, or in friendship. Last night, I went to a pub with my best friends and my boyfriend. This is the first time that I’ve ever been to a pub with my boyfriend and even with my friends. During the process, I kept trying to balance my attention on both my friends and him, and eventually, after talking to him afterwards, I’ve found that it’s quite an interesting experience.

For all the time I went to a pub dancing, I went with friends, especially my close friends, Bon. Playing with girlfriends is a great pleasure and enjoyment. I can completely relax, have fun, and meet new friends. Yet, playing with boyfriend is totally a different matter. First, you’ll be only seeing your boyfriend and completely ignore others’ existence for most of the time. It happens so naturally. Maybe during the process, you feel tried; you stop and get some rest, but still hold his harms. However, when going out with friends and also with boyfriend, I needed to learn to adjust myself and be equal, at least as equal as possible. I couldn’t let my friends feel like they didn’t even have to come and I really enjoyed playing with them, singing with them and screaming with them; nevertheless, I couldn’t leave my boyfriend playing alone, because I knew the only reason why he was there was me.

He asked me last night when we finally got home, “Did you get high?” I answered very calmly, “I wouldn’t say I was high. I preferred ‘enjoyed,’ and I was very enjoyed.” He couldn’t understand in the first place. I explained, “To get high is to feel extremely released, caring about nobody else except for me and girls. But while I was dancing with you, from time to time I needed to take a look at my friends and saw if they were alright, not feeling boring or being bothered by geeks. And when I was dancing with them, I couldn’t help turn around and look into your eyes, telling you that I cared about you all the time.” Finally, he got it. He told me he enjoyed it very much as well. He didn’t feel bored when I was dancing with my friends. He likes to play with us because he enjoys spending time with me with my friends, feeling that he’s a part of me already.

Even though I couldn’t concentrate in playing last night, I got a chance to learn how to play a good role between friends and girlfriend at the same time. How to let friends not to feel uncomfortable and feel they are important to me, but in the meantime placing boyfriend above all is really a new subject to me. Being the person involved, it is hard to think and act reasonably and wisely. But I know there’s no perfect answer. The answer only exists between me and him, basing on communication.